lesson 12

Father Mouse jumped and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away.

"What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."

Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.  Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink. 

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a

girl?  B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.  A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.  B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?"  Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow? 

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?  Johnny: Nothing, sir.  Headmaster: Exactly. 

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.  B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi. 

about half an hour, and then she hung up."Wow!," said

her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.

PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"  TEACHER:" Of course not."  PUPIL: "Good, because I haven`t done my homework." 

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?  Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?  Little Johnny: But I asked first! 

soup when you were carrying it.  Waitress: Oh, that's okay. The

soup isn't hot. 

"I was born in California."  "Which part?"  "All of me."

"Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?"  "No, I'm sorry I don't."  "Well, it's two blocks this way, then one block to the left."

go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized

they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said,"oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!" 

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.  The student: I walk. You walk ....  The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please.  The student: I run. You run ...